Michael Phillips, The Airstream Chronicles - Seasons Greetings From The Airstream

Seasons Greetings From The Airstream

Christmas is almost upon us, and here in the Airstream, things couldn't be more festive.

Many of you have asked why Arty wasn't on the air on December 21st. Well, he wont like it, but I don't see any harm in telling you. We were out in the driveway spray painting hundreds of roses with gold paint when a sudden gust of wind caught Bell by surprise and knocked him smack into a four foot high barrel cactus. He hit the horrible succulent face-first, then leapt up to escape, only to trip over a tray of the gold roses and fall back onto the cactus, backside-first.

Needless to say, Bell's been laid out all night having spines plucked from both sets of cheeks, and he's in a real bad mood. There's no telling when he'll be able to get back into the air-chair.

Since he wasn't feeling much like celebrating, he gave me the key to the shed (an ancient school bus parked out behind the windmill) and told me I could use any decorations and lights that were out there. I dragged a few boxes marked "xmas" back to the Airstream and opened them up. Unfortunately, the strings of lights were about 50 years old, and when I tried to plug one of them in, it sparked and started a small fire. I grabbed a fire extinguisher and aimed it at the flames, but only a small puff of magical fire-snuffing powder wheezed out. I had to use an old army blanket to smother the fire, and the atmosphere in the Airstream is still a bit hazy.

We're not going to be daunted by these unfortunate holiday happenstances though. In fact, later tonight we're going out to sing Christmas carols to the coyotes and jack rabbits.

Feliz navidad!

mjp
12/23/95

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